• nikawkajsanicole

1 year in Los Angeles, again

1 year in Los Angeles, again. I went to my old blog, who now has a password since it’s not getting updated anymore since we now have NIKA, and read through what I read about my first year in L.A last time and thought I could share some pieces. I was then, after a year nervous to come back to Sweden and what to do next. 

16 of January 2018 ”After the U.S? It feels like my life is coming to an end haha. It feels like I am going to hit a small depression, everything is going to be grey and boring, I am going to miss the palm trees, the ocean, and L.A which is not that weird after all. But I am excited to come home and start my ”adult life”. I have high ambitions about my future and I want to move, get a good job, my dream job, and I know that I have high goals but I also feel that if I want to go back to L.A will I make it happened.”

Baby-Kajsa haha! I am so happy I have my old blog and the fact that I wrote a post every day during my time in L.A, 562 days, and post in total! It felt like I already knew then that I was going to come back, in some way, and my plan B was to try to come back. It is also weird to look back at it, how I then dreamed about moving to Stockholm and working for Cultural Care, the au pair organization I went with as an au pair, and how all of that happened and I absolutely fell in love with my job and Stockholm. But, moving back to L.A was always in the back of my mind and I started to look into the possibilities and colleges in January 2019. 

Now, looking back at my first year in L.A again has a lot of things happened since my last ”first” year in L.A. This year and time has been challenging since coming back has been hard. It has been hard in that way to finding new friends, getting used to school, new routines, covid of course, but it has also made me grow so much and I feel so much older, wiser, and on a different level personally. But, at the same time hasn’t it been hard at all, since there is no place I will rather be at and I am so happy that I started to study and that I moved at the right time before covid and everything, it is mixed feelings! I still have a lot of stress over the future, I feel like I always will no matter what or where I am in life, I love to plan and have a plan, but I also need to learn that the best things will happen, when they happened. I have one more year of school at SMC but I already feel like it won’t be enough, I believe that my time in L.A will never be enough, but at the same time do I know that I don’t want to stay forever. There’s too much to see and I want to be closer to friends and family at home but I also want to live abroad again but somewhere else. Just as last time am I proud over that I moved and dared to move to L.A in the first place in 2017, that move has opened so many new doors for me and I couldn’t be happier that I made it back here. It is also crazy that I have spent the last three years here and that I will probably spend five years here in total if I stay another two years.  L.A will always have a special place in my heart no matter what, it will always be my second home and also home away from home since I don't have any place in Sweden that's "mine" at the moment besides my hometown. For the coming year or years do I look forward to seeing more of California and the U.S. There are so many places I want to visit but traveling has not been a prior this spring and summer of course. I want to continue to meet new friends and use this time as a push and start of my career but also a time do try new things, make mistakes, and not being too hard on myself. I still need to pinch myself and remind myself that I am back, back at my favorite place and how grateful I am for that. Reminder to all of you, if you want something bad enough will you make it happen!


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